(no subject)

[thewidewideworld]

{From here}

Sinric's room hasn't changed, much even if it's owner has. The bed is larger with a soft Indian cotton spread of rich blue instead of the winter furs.

He fetches a towel down from the cupboard and hands it to Emcee, offering him the neat little ensuite bathroom.

"I'll be here if you need anything at all." He soothes, giving Emcee's room.

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric returns the squeeze with a grateful nod, very glad of Emcee's understanding.

"The agreement was that he would own me for a year and a day. I have not been a slave since my master died and I vowed I never would be again. But Yan... I couldn't let him be tortured or killed. He has children."

He swallows again. "Prince Kamino was cruel, violent. A spoilt child-god who had never been told no in his life. It wasn't until he near killed me, cutting his name into my flesh that he realised the wrongness of what he was doing. It seemed to break something in him, break through the armour of Jade he wore to separate himself from the world."

"It was better after that. It took some time for me to recover but he carried me to the best healers in Nippon before going to the Emperor to confess what he had done before his father. The Emperor made him my protector, humbling Kamino to serve rather than lead."

"He did as his father bid and for the next year, we studied together in the temples of the Buddha, travelled the island from tip to tip, read deeply of the greatest libraries I have ever seen."

"Kamino became a better man than the child who had maimed me - thoughtful and learned. Towards the end of that year, the Emperor sickened and abdicated, elevating Kamino to Emperor Saga, of all Nippon." He smiles a little fondly and a little sadly. "Seimei tells me he became one of the greatest Emperors Japan ever knew, his reign making a new age of peace and prosperity."

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee's eyes grow wide, his hand never letting go of Sinric's.

And at the end of his story, he lets out a deep breath as if he had been holding it.

He's silent for a few moments, trying to process what it must have been like to go through that, and still come through whole.

"I am truly at a loss for words, darling," he finally murmurs. "How awful and horrific and incredible and... I don't know how you did it."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric shrugs and settles more comfortingly against Emcee's side. "The same we always do it. Surviving one day at a time."

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee grows quiet once more. Blinking blearily. Ignoring the pain.

"Yes."

He sounds defeated as tears come to his eyes again.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric reaches out to stroke Emcee's arm softly, "I'm sorry."

[i_am_your_host]

"I don't want to have to survive anymore," he says through his tears. "I'm tired of just getting by. I'm so fucking tired of trying to stay alive. I don't know how much more of it I can take."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric embraces him, holding him close. "Is there no path you can take?"

[i_am_your_host]

"Yes, I have one," he says almost miserably. "I have a new home. I will have a new life. But I can't enjoy it until my friends are safe. I promised them that I would get them safely out of the country. And yet I find myself nearly sabotaging my own efforts by doing stupid, stupid things."

[thewidewideworld]

"The man you were with tonight?" He asks softly.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee nods.

"I owed someone money for information about booking secret passage on a cargo ship. They wanted payment right away, but I didn't have enough. My door wouldn't appear, or else I would have accessed my own funds here. So I-- I knew a man who once offered to pay double to be-- rough with me. And I took him up on it. I thought it would be a quick and easy way to get what I needed.

"But there is a line between roughness and-- well, just downright abuse. The moment I took off my coat, he shoved me against the wall and tore my shirt open. And then he hit me."

He touches his swollen cheek.

"At the time it surprised me more than it hurt. I got angry. I yelled at him to stop and tone it down or else I would leave. And then he gave me such a backhand across the mouth that I saw stars-- and I fell.

"He was undressing as I lay there and spouting some inane bullshit. 'You like to get hit, you whore? You want me to hit you again?'

"Meanwhile I was spitting blood, trying not to choke on it. The man was naked now and standing over me. He reached for my trousers, when I-- well, I fucking jammed my boot in his groin."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric's breath catches and he pales as Emcee tells his own tale. But he can't help but smile at the last. "You are far braver that I, fighting back like that."

[i_am_your_host]

He breathes out a stiff chuckle.

"Fighting back was never my strongest suit," he says wryly, and he sighs.

"When he was writhing on the floor in agony, I managed to get up. I grabbed my coat-- and his trousers. And I ran out of there, as fast as I could. He'd taken me to a cheap hotel so he had no other clothes. He couldn't follow me."

He stifles a grin.

"I actually used to do that when I was younger. Run off with someone's trousers if they treated me badly or didn't pay, then I'd dump the pants in the gutter. Tonight I was just too busy running. I turned down an alley and through a gate, and then here I was. Still with his trousers in my hand."

A pause.

"I'm going to chuck them into the fireplace later."

[thewidewideworld]

"Old habits die hardest." Sinric can't help but smile. "In your fury, you found a way to punish him."

[i_am_your_host]

"I've never physically lashed out like that at anyone before," he muses. "But perhaps everyone has their breaking point."

[thewidewideworld]

He nods. "I think... I think maybe that's how I reached Kamino. By passing the point I could no-longer suffer. By breaking taboos that I should not have broken."

[i_am_your_host]

He turns his head toward him with a questioning frown.

"Breaking taboos?"

[thewidewideworld]

"I touched him." Sinric explains simply. "The Imperial family are referred to as those above the clouds. They are seen as living gods, descended from gods. And none may touch their skin without being sanctified and purified by the high priests. He was taking me to those priests when he-" He cuts himself off, not wanting to give name to the abuse. "When he was with me, it was always clad in silk or fine leather, not part of him touching bare skin. He even wore a false manhood of jade to take me."

"But when I could bear it no more, I slipped my hand under his armour and touched his cheek, skin to skin. I think, looking back, no-one had ever touched him like that. Perhaps that is what broke him from his rage."

[i_am_your_host]

Again he listens quietly, making no judgments, not pressing him to say what he doesn't want to.

"I had no idea such practices existed," he murmurs, still frowning.

"But I am glad you found a way to take control by seemingly the simplest gesture possible."

[thewidewideworld]

"I had heard rumours of such things. In the Sino Empire, it was consider proper that chosen lovers were checked for signs of illness before being allowed to become imperial consorts but in Nippon, that precautions, like many things, were taken to extremes of law."

"In truth, I didn't know it would work. I just... couldn't bear to submit to suffering any further."

He looks up at Emcee and smiles softly. "He asked me to keep it, you know - his phallus of jade. I carry it amongst my things. He... found pleasure in me using it with him." He bites his lip, imparting the words as a secret. "As did I."

[i_am_your_host]

"All that matters, then, is that it did work, and it set you free-- the both of you, apparently," he says. And he smiles faintly with the one corner of his mouth that isn't painful. "A jade phallus is certainly a very precious and intimate gift."

[thewidewideworld]

"Would you like to see it?" He asks softly. He wouldn't normally show anyone but Emcee isn't anyone. Emcee is someone who understands.

[i_am_your_host]

His eyes widen a little and he blinks at the offer.

"You would show it to me?" he says, surprised, but his tone just as soft. "Yes-- yes, I would very much like to see it."

[thewidewideworld]

He nods and slips off the bed, reaching for the little pouch he usually wears at his hip. It seems very small to hold such things. Sinric opens it and slips his hand inside, vanishing almost to the mid-forearm.

A moment of searching he returns with a lacquered box in black and gold.

He carries it to the bed and lays it down, opening it and unwrapping the silk covers. Inside is beautiful phallus of deepest green jade, swirled with veins of milky white. Very clean and well cared for, he offers it to Emcee on its silk cloth. The surface is carved with patterns of lotus blossoms, dragon scales and bamboo; the edges carefully smoothed. The body is no more than a few millimetres thick, almost translucent at the lower points of the patterns.

The base flanges out, designed to sit against the pelvis and held in place with a fine leather belt.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee's eyes widen again at the magic pouch. Because magic. But also, Milliways. People can get anything magically out-of-the-ordinary here.

But then he watches as Sinric unwraps the phallus, and he takes it when offered.

"It's beautiful," he murmurs, holding it up to eye level, and running a fingertip over the intricate carvings. The jade is cool but warms to his touch. "I have never seen anything like it in my life."

He's seen a few unusual dildos, of course, but this is something on a whole other level.

[thewidewideworld]

"The work of a great craftsman, no doubt. The Nippon people are the most focused I have know. They devote themselves utterly to perfecting their art with a dedication I have never seen." He nods to the phallus. "Such a thing may have taken years to make and many iterations to perfect. I was very honoured by the gift, both for the beauty of the thing itself and the meaning behind it."