(no subject)

[thewidewideworld]

{Continued from here}

Sinric heads down the stairs and out into the gardens, a wrap pulled around his shoulders and his hair still damp. He breathes in the scent of approaching evening as if committing it to memory before turning towards the lake.

He has no idea which way Athelstan might have gone but the lake always seems like a good place to start.

Comments

[athelstanthescribe]

"I don't think she would mourn too much for the lack of love, if she had the rest. But when she and Ragnar met, she really only knew his reputation."

[thewidewideworld]

"Ah. I understand. Eudokia, my- Constantine's third wife made much the same mistake. She, like Aslaug, bore many sons but it did little to lift her statue to that she desired."

[athelstanthescribe]

"And Ragnar so often fails to behave as she thinks proper."

[thewidewideworld]

"As the ruthless and ambitious man she thought he was should? Clearly she doesn't see the gentle farmer beneath."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Which isn't to say he can't be ruthless and ambitious. But he wasn't born to be a king."

[thewidewideworld]

"A farmer, an Earl, a father, a lover." Sinric's voice fall softly into the sing-song sweetness of a story-teller. "Ambitious, ruthless, curious, gentle. We are none of us only one thing. And what we are may change a hundred times in a lifetime or a breath."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan nods.

"The trouble is, Aslaug tries to shape him, and he resists."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric smiles, a warm confiding smile. "Stubborn. I forgot to add that to the list."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Perpetually", Athelstan agrees, but his own smile is much weaker.

[thewidewideworld]

"We means he'll never give up on the people he loves." Sinric adds softly.

[athelstanthescribe]

He looks away.

"Even when it might perhaps be better for him if he did."

[thewidewideworld]

"Especially then." Sinric shrugs. "Or perhaps especially if he is told so. You values your health and happiness far higher than his own."

[athelstanthescribe]

"And I am not allowed to value his in the same way."

[thewidewideworld]

"Oh yes. And just as stubbornly so. I suspect that's why you two talk each other into such knots."

He shakes his head. "But that was not why I came seeking you, but to ask what you need? And how, if you will, I can help?"

[athelstanthescribe]

"If I knew it so clearly, I would tell you", he says honestly. "But I think I'm going to leave that room to the two of you, and go back to my brother's."

[thewidewideworld]

"Please don't, if it is on my account. I have my own room and am content there. And once the door is closed, I'm a whole floor away. If it is my return that drives you, I hope you will reconsider."

[athelstanthescribe]

"It isn't your simple presence", Athelstan assures him quickly. "It's - every moment you and Ragnar are in the same room, I can see how you want each other."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric considers that in silence a moment. "Beloved, I won't lie to you. I do desire him. And I am very grateful for the privacy you gave us to share that desire."

[athelstanthescribe]

"And so removing myself is just to continue that privacy. So you never need hold back in case I might come in and feel - unwelcome."

[thewidewideworld]

"You would never be unwelcome. As we both desire you as much as each other. Your company more than desires of the flesh that I know still lay dormant in you."

He offers Athelstan his hand. "But if you feel it best, I have no right to try to tell you otherwise. But I don't know that I will stay long. I have a long journey ahead to reach you."

[athelstanthescribe]

He nods, touching Sinric's hand.

"The door may have other ideas about how long you will be gone. And my company is little enough to wish for."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric cups Athelstan's hand, threading their fingers together. "It often does. But it has never stops me from going, only slows my return."

He looks up at Athelstan, his eyes dark and large. "I have missed you. Like an ache in my heart. Your company means the world to me."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Even now, when a turn in conversation may send me into silence or flight? And even I cannot always know what will bring it on? I'm not fit company for anyone."

So he spends as much time as he can get away with in solitude, or the company of animals.

[thewidewideworld]

"Then if it will bring you peace, I have no right to ask you to change your mind." He nods a bow. "But I hope you will allow me your company, until mine becomes tedious."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Of course."

He doesn't think he'll ever find it tedious, exactly.