(no subject)

[thewidewideworld]

[from here}

Sinric comes down from his room, still dressed his furs and heavily embroiled tunic but looking fresh and scrubbed.

He smiles brightly to see Hannibal.

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

Niketas sits with him in silence, listening to the monks sing the glory of the new-born Christ.

But there's something heavy in his silence, something unsaid.

[cook_the_rude]

"Brother Tertarus?" Hannibal asks, quietly, underneath the music.

[thewidewideworld]

"I may be a priest now." Niketas answers softly. "But I'm not above the sins of men. Including jealousy."

He takes a slow breath. "You have done me such kindness, and yet I envy you. He loves you. I hear it in his voice."

[cook_the_rude]

"He loves you just as much," Hannibal says, softly. "I have heard it in so many words."

[thewidewideworld]

"He told you he harbours affections for me?" Niketas seems shocked. "I thought... at most he saw me as a brother. And even that is more than I deserve."

[cook_the_rude]

"Why shouldn't you deserve Sinric's affection?" Dr. Lecter asks.

[thewidewideworld]

Niketas shakes his head, leaning back in his seat. He toys with his cup. "A brother- a good and faithful brother, as I should have been to him, should have protected him. Should have done more- to save him from Leo."

[cook_the_rude]

"He got away," Hannibal says. "And he went to see all the known world of this time and age."

[thewidewideworld]

Niketas ducks his head. "He had a brother. Several in fact but one in particular. The brother he was closest too. I couldn't saved him."

[cook_the_rude]

"You can't always save everybody," Dr. Lecter says. "To worry that everything is your fault would be hubris; it would assume omnipotence."

[thewidewideworld]

"My sins enumerated." Niketas huffs a laugh. "Hubris, indolence." He sighs and drops his voice. "Lust."

[cook_the_rude]

"Hubris means that you truly overestimate yourself; excess humility is just as much an infraction against the philosophical virtue of sophrosyne," Dr. Lecter states. "Indolence is only a sin if somebody else suffers from your inaction, and lust, if the other party said no and you do not stop. Sinric never told you no, so you are free to desire him. You only need to accept that you can't keep him. He's needed elsewhere."

[thewidewideworld]

Niketas cocks his head. "You're a better match for Master Alcuin than you are for me. And Sinric has never said no, because I've not expressed my desires. I... wasn't sure how they would be received."

He goes silent for a long moment. "Elsewhere. You mean Milliways?"

[cook_the_rude]

"No," Hannibal says softly. "In your world. He explained to you how time works in Milliways?"

[thewidewideworld]

"Only that time do not pass while he is there. Which was why he was able to heal when Leo-" He cuts himself off sharply.

[cook_the_rude]

"Milliways is beyond time," Dr. Lecter says. "We come in from anywhere, anywhen."

[thewidewideworld]

"As you are from a time long after all this is dust." He gestures around the hall.

"What has that to do with Sinric being- spoken for?"

[cook_the_rude]

"Spoken for by history," Dr. Lecter says. "He has to be in places so the Abbey of Corvey is founded, and a Varangian named Ragnar sets events in motion that lead to the discovery of new lands beyond the sea. So he can't stay with you; but when you are both old, Palermo might be the place to look for each other again."

Pause.

"But you must keep all this strictly to yourself, and act as if you didn't know. When you hear about Corvey in a decade or so, you'll know you can trust my words."

[thewidewideworld]

"I trust your words." Niketas' voice is lower and sad. "He predicted the date of my father's death almost a year before it happened. And carried that weight in his heart for far longer. If he can carry such a secret, I can carry a far lesser one."

[cook_the_rude]

"Then trust my words," Dr. Lecter says. "Trust them all the way."

[thewidewideworld]

Niketas sips his wine. "And that's why I can't- why he won't stay."

[cook_the_rude]

"You can," Hannibal says. "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Cherish the feelings, both of them, and keep them in a golden treasure chest for the rest of your life."

[thewidewideworld]

"It that how you see him? As someone to be cherished but briefly."

[cook_the_rude]

"As a free spirit that will touch one for a while, but will ultimately always go his own way," Hannibal says. "To help along the way when he happens to be where I am, and to say farewell to with a kiss after that."

[thewidewideworld]

"You're a better man than I." Niketas says, in admiration more than self-depreciation. "And deserve him better than I. I can only hope I... I can be as clear-headed when it's time for us to part company again."