(no subject)

[thewidewideworld]

{From here}

Sinric leads Athelstan back to their rooms, through a door behind the stairs. Their rooms are neatly kept and clean. It's clear Sinric has been very watchful about his duty to keep their rooms. He brings a chair over for Athelstan before heading off to run him a bath.

"Are the painkillers helping? I can fetch stronger ones, if you need them?"

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

"A little. Not much. Only my very earliest memories of him. Even if there's only one copy held here, at least it has been written."

[athelstanthescribe]

"You don't want to rush it", he half agrees, half advises. "Every detail you can recall should be recorded."

[thewidewideworld]

"I'm not sure how to go about such a task so I have been just writing things as I think if them." He cards his hands through Athelstan's hair, massaging his scalp.

[athelstanthescribe]

"That isn't a bad way." His head tips into Sinric's hands. "You can pull it together into an order later."

[thewidewideworld]

"I was astounded by how cheaply the bar permitted me a book to write in. I would have thought the fine paper here would have been worth much more than parchment."

[athelstanthescribe]

"In the future, I think, they've found a way to make paper very cheaply. It doesn't seem precious to them at all."

[thewidewideworld]

"So I have seen. The book the bar gave me is very fine, it's binding leather. Would you like to see it after we bathe?"

[athelstanthescribe]

"I'd like that very much. And to lie in bed with you."

He's missed the comfort of the bed here, and company in it.

[thewidewideworld]

"I would only leave your side tonight if you needed the space." He offers lightly, aware that Athelstan is still healing and some scars are not the visible ones.

[athelstanthescribe]

He nods, all too aware of the unspoken as well.

"They... they tell me sometimes I've cried out in the night. So if I struggle against nothing...."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric slides back into the pool to reach for his friend, offering him the comfort of his arms. "As do I. We can struggle with our demons together."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan leans into the embrace.

"I'd spare Ragnar that if I could. But I know he wouldn't understand if I won't sleep a night with him."

[thewidewideworld]

"He will understand more than you expect. And every if he doesn't understand, he will give you whatever you need if only you ask him." He brushes Athelstan's hair back from his face. "He loves you, heart and soul. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"It's going to hurt him so", Athelstan says sadly, "that he can't make my wounds heal."

[thewidewideworld]

"Then together we will make him understand that he is making heal. By giving you time and strength. And by understanding when you also need space."

[athelstanthescribe]

He nods.

"Without Milliways, and access to Ragnar through it, it would be so much harder."

[thewidewideworld]

"As it would have been for me. Without both of you, it would have broken me utterly. And for every day since, I give thanks."

[athelstanthescribe]

"And I know he'll come for me. More than my faith in him, which might be overcome by despair, I have his promise."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric takes Athelstan's hand lightly in his, kissing the skin of his inner wrist between the two ends of his armband. "He will come for you."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan looks at the armring, his eyes softening.

"When I was... when they were... they tried to take that from me with my clothes, but I couldn't let them. I kicked, I hit and scratched, I think I may have bitten one of them. And I remember looking at it, when I was... raised up."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric nods, letting him talk as he cups the armband and Athelstan's hand, keeping the contact.

[athelstanthescribe]

"It helped me to stop screaming", he whispers. "To remember I had earned it, and I was a man of the North."

[thewidewideworld]

"A proud warrior of the North." Sinric smiles, although sadness fills his eyes. "A true Viking." He understands some of the implications of the word from the Varangians.

[athelstanthescribe]

"And a good Viking, following Ragnar's example. One who may steal, but doesn't set out to kill the defenceless."

Lindisfarne was - a mistake, in that way, as the raiders didn't expect to find men not ready to fight. But for Athelstan, speaking of himself, it's an attempt to convince himself he's not a bad person despite the death of the young monk.

[thewidewideworld]

He nods. "That tallies with what I know of the Varangians of court. They value honour above riches so fight only those who are worth the fight."