(no subject)

[thewidewideworld]

From here.

The room is comfortingly neutral, warmly lit but without overt decoration. A couple of padded benches and a small bathroom, should they need it.

"Will this suit our need?" Sinric asks softly.

Comments

[manofbusiness]

"Then it will work better", Childermass agrees. "A state of calm, or close to it, must always be achieved first."

[thewidewideworld]

He nods, pulling the shimmering of gold a little tighter around himself, seeing it clearly in his minds eye now.

"This is how you protect yourself when the magic becomes too overwhelming?"

[manofbusiness]

"Yes", he says simply. "I learned it young, of a necessity."

[thewidewideworld]

"How old were you, when it first came on you?" He could find out without asking but he doesn't want to do that, doesn't want to take from another history without their consent.

[manofbusiness]

Childermass appreciates that. He's a man with many secrets, at least in his own world.

"Certainly by the time I could speak in sentences. My mother taught me to watch my words, lest they become - not mine."

[thewidewideworld]

"She knew of your magics? Was she born to it also?"

[manofbusiness]

"If she had gifts of her own", he says with a half-shrug, "she never let me see them. But she was not afraid of mine."

[thewidewideworld]

He can almost feel the branch there, the thread of how the world might have been had Childremass' mother not been wise and unafraid.

But he pulls the next of gold tighter and pushes the thought away.

"I am glad for you. If this had come to me as a child, I fear what might have become of me."

[manofbusiness]

"You would very likely have let it slip you knew things you had no right to", he agrees. "As very small children will."

[thewidewideworld]

"Something my master might have cultivated to his advantage, but could just as easily have destroyed me for. To protect himself and his court."

[manofbusiness]

"Which do you think he would have chosen, knowing the man he was?"

[thewidewideworld]

"It depends how early such things showed. And how badly. He was a good man who loves and cares for me. But whispers of witchcraft could have threatened all he built. He would have kept me safe, I think. But he would have sent me far away. Or kept me where my words would be heard only be him."

[manofbusiness]

"At least until you learned to guard them around other people. He would not have thrown away the good your gift could do him, if he had any sense."

[thewidewideworld]

"He was wise and kind." He lowers his eyes. "I miss him very much."

[manofbusiness]

"But he is still with you." Childermass looks at him steadily, and he knows what he's talking about. "And always will be."

[thewidewideworld]

"It was such a temptation, when I was losing myself, just to reach for the memories of him and let myself drown in them. To let myself be overcame." It would have killed him but the temptation was there.

[manofbusiness]

He nods.

"But you had something to fetch you back out."

[thewidewideworld]

"People I love. People who love each other and who I am destined to bring together. They are why I'm here, my purpose. They gave me a reason to go on."

[manofbusiness]

"Good enough", he agrees, "if it will suffice for you. As it seems it will."

[thewidewideworld]

He nods, unable to express how much they matter to him, how much they future matters to him.

"Is there anything else you can teach me today?"

[manofbusiness]

He considers.

"Do you know anything of the ways of the East in clearing your mind?"

[thewidewideworld]

"I do." He blinks, feeling foolish. He learnt many such things in his time with Kamino buy in his panic, he'd forgotten them.

[manofbusiness]

"They can be hard to achieve without some degree of calm going in, but I knew an old Chinaman who had once been a sailor. He taught me a little."

[thewidewideworld]

"Will you show me what he taught you? That I might better remember my own training."

[manofbusiness]

"Gladly", he says with a nod. "You had better make yourself comfortable again."