(no subject)

[thewidewideworld]

From here.

The room is comfortingly neutral, warmly lit but without overt decoration. A couple of padded benches and a small bathroom, should they need it.

"Will this suit our need?" Sinric asks softly.

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

He nods. "They intended that the ritual would show me the path of their return to their homelands. A single thread that could be followed. One of their number has the seer's gift, however slightly so. It was what she believed I would see."

[manofbusiness]

"But you saw far more widely than they expected. And perhaps not the thing they hoped for at all."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric's voice catches. "Far, far more. More than I believe they knew was possible." He lowers his eyes. "And more, I fear, than I can bear."

He shakes his head. "No, not that. I saw the lies and half truths they had told me. The acts of cruelty in their wake. They wanted to make a blade of me, to turn on their enemies."

[manofbusiness]

"You bore the first shock", Childermass says briskly, "and have come through with your sanity intact. That is more than others have before you. What will you do, when you return?"

[thewidewideworld]

"There were times I feared I had come untethered. But I was right to seek this place and the people I trust most dear. I found myself in their eyes."

He looks down again. "I do not know. I won't return until I have regained the strength of my body. I gained much in learning in the cave, but it has cost me dearly in health."

[manofbusiness]

He nods.

"From what you have said, when you are back to your full strength, they could not do you harm now if they tried. Now, to begin, be sure you are comfortable as you must be still for a time."

[thewidewideworld]

"I don't want to harm them. But I won't hurt anyone for them. Nor will I let them enslave me." He answers passionately.

He settles, making himself comfortable and nods.

[manofbusiness]

"No more you should." He settles himself to his own satisfaction as well. "The first step is to make your mind empty of all thoughts, so far as you can."

[thewidewideworld]

He nods and centres himself, remembering the breathing rhythms Hannibal taught him.

It isn't easy, just when he feels he is clearing his mind, images and feelings surface.

[manofbusiness]

"Brick by brick", Childermass continues calmly, "make a wall between your own self and the Pattern. Do not hurry, and do not fear if it starts to fail. It can be rebuilt."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric nods, biting his lip as his eyes half close.

He envisions as Childermass instructs, building a wall about himself. Twice it crumbles, the visions of Athelstan and Ragnar's deaths pressing in on him.

[manofbusiness]

Childermass doesn't move, even as he watches Sinric's expression.

"Remember, what you see may yet be changed. As clear as it may seem."

[thewidewideworld]

"No." He answers a little forcefully. "I saw alternative threads, saw the other paths. But I know which are and which will not be. I learnt young that history cannot be changed. I have seen the wounds in the tapestry where men have tried."

[manofbusiness]

"The alternative threads belong to other worlds, perhaps", he allows. "But there is the question of when the future becomes history, set in stone."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric doesn't answer but dips his eyes in a small nod. He disagrees and must do so. If he doubts that, it will put in doubt the he couldn't save Constantine. And that would tears him apart at the seams.

He closes his eyes and begins again, trying to build the wall stronger.

[manofbusiness]

"Good", Childermass encourages. "Do not expect it to be done in a day, or to stand forever if it is."

[thewidewideworld]

"How do you build it again, when it falls, when I weaken?" He asks with a smudge of self pity.

[manofbusiness]

"You pick yourself up", he says bluntly, not indulging that self-pity, "and you start again. Brick by brick."

[thewidewideworld]

He lowers his eyes in submission at the rebuke and tries again.

His walls are not as strong as they need to be and he sighs with frustration.

[manofbusiness]

"You expect too much. You've not been trying for an hour yet." There's no impatience in Childermass' voice. He's started this and he'll see it through. "You are not in immediate danger, so do not rush."

[thewidewideworld]

"I may not be in immediate danger but but those around me, those I hold most dear may be. The things I know, the things I see can hurt them. And I cannot let that happen." His voice grows determined and fierce.

He tries again but the wall shifts and crumbles.

[manofbusiness]

"They can only hurt them if you tell them what you see, until they come to pass." He sees the failure on Sinric's face. "Again. Make each layer strong before you move to the next."

[thewidewideworld]

"This isn't working." He snaps, instantly contrite.

"Forgive me. That was rude. But may I try another way? I think... I have an idea."

[manofbusiness]

"By all means. You know your own mind better than I."

[thewidewideworld]

He slips off the bench and kneels on the floor, his eyes closes and his fingers spread wide, lightly touching the floor.

Instead of visualising a wall, he sings, a soft tune, wordless and flowing. He sings a mosaic into being, one tiny gilded tile at a time. He sings patterns into the tiles, abstract representations of his path, just as he did with the cards.