AU week - telling the tale.

[thewidewideworld]

Sin takes Athelstan's hand and leads him through a door and then another, and up a narrow flight of stairs that seem to be hidden in the walls. To another door that looks like it should be locked but isn't. (Or isn't locked anymore.)

The journey leads them into the roof and a flatish section of tiles where they can sit and look out over the lake, protected from the breeze.

"Come, sit with me." Sin strolls across the tiles, sure as a mountain goat till he finds a good spot to sit with their backs against a chimney.

Comments

[athelstanthescribe]

"I'm glad you could with me. And", he promises, "it'll stay between us. Not even Ragnar, unless you tell him yourself."

[thewidewideworld]

"I know." He toys with Athelstan's curls. "I knew you would understand why I can't always tell people about myself."

[athelstanthescribe]

"None of what happened, or what you did with the Emperors", he says softly, "was your fault. You were steered wrong by the first person you remember taking care of you, that's all."

[thewidewideworld]

"Perhaps not, but it made me who I am. Not everyone accepts that as readily as you have, beautiful Athelstan. It's one of the things I love about you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Most of who we are is where we've been, I think. Not all, or we'd be able to change parts of ourselves... but most."

He blushes a little at the 'I love you', which he's heard more in the last week than ever in his life before.

[thewidewideworld]

"Time to see the world, beautiful Athelstan. Time to see doorways without canes and love without costs."

There's a slight slur in his smile as the drink finally catches up with Sin.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan hears it and tugs Sin slightly into his arms, so they can rest comfortably together - perhaps a few more kisses, but he doesn't need or want more than that today.

"It wasn't a word that got used much in our house", he murmurs, playing with Sin's hair again. "Being good would make them proud, when we were, but there wasn't much talk of love."

[thewidewideworld]

Sin settles happily, especially with his hair being stroked.

"I love you, and I love Ragnar too. Not the way you love each other but it is a word that covers many degrees of affection and passion. I guess it's just my way, to make the most of whatever time I have with a person to the fullest. To love fast and deep but without expectation."

[athelstanthescribe]

"The way we love each other scares me", Athelstan confesses. "It happened so fast, and it's - everything."

[thewidewideworld]

Sin takes Athelstan's hand, looking concerned. "I don't want you to be afraid of this, beautiful Athelstan. Of us. If it's ever too much, tell me and I'll back off and give you room."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Not you", Athelstan assures him quickly. "Ragnar. It's - it's not anything he's done, he's been nothing but patient, it's - " For a writer, words on this topic seem to desert him a lot. "It's just the feelings."

[thewidewideworld]

"Love is a lot to take in when you're feeling it so utterly for the first time. That's why they call it falling."

[athelstanthescribe]

"I think my mother loved me. I mean - she must have, right? She did what she did to save me. But I don't remember knowing that. And I've never been in love before."

He's staring into space, repetitively stroking Sin's hair.

[thewidewideworld]

"She did. I can feel that in you. A mother's love is a powerful thing."

The touching is soothing and Sin lets his eyes drift closed. He sing softly, a wordless, complex song full of longing and love.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan's fingers sometimes stray out of his hair onto his temples with light touches, listening to him sing.

"I wish I remembered her more."

[thewidewideworld]

Sin's song becomes a purr at those little touches, warm and content. "I know how you feel. Have you talked to your uncle about her? Maybe some memory of his will help you to find your own memories of her."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Not for a long time. But you're right, I should, him and Aunt Mary."

[thewidewideworld]

"Maybe they have a photo too, something to hold on to."

[athelstanthescribe]

"I've got a couple of those", he says softly. "But they're just - pictures, you know? Sometimes I think something comes back, but it's making sense of it, and their voices..."

[thewidewideworld]

Sin nods, taking Athelstan's hand and massaging it. "We could try some regression meditation at some point to help you find their voices more clearly but there's a risk it will bring back the fire instead."

[athelstanthescribe]

"I think..." He rubs Sin's hand in turn. "I think I could live with that. You'd both be there if that happened."

[thewidewideworld]

"I won't take you there any other way." He assures softly, "But something like that takes time and preparation. The setting and ritual is more important than the trip that helps you get there. When you're ready, we'll meet up and ride out somewhere wild and do it together."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan nods.

"I'll do whatever you tell me, you're the one who knows."

[thewidewideworld]

"I'm just the guide." Sin smiles softly, reaching up to brush his fingers over Athelstan's cheek. "All things happen for a reason. And maybe helping you what the reason I found my way here."

[athelstanthescribe]

He turns his head to brush his lips against Sin's fingers.

"Maybe it was."